When you lose what you love you go through 5 stages: (1) Denial – ‘No, it can’t be happening.’ (2) Anger – ‘God, why are You permitting this?’ (3) Bargaining – ‘Please make it go away.’ (4) Depression – Silence and withdrawal. (5) Acceptance – ‘Not my will but Thine be done.’ Whether it’s the loss of a child, a marriage, a job, your health, etc. when you turn to God He’ll give you the grace to embrace it, grieve it, express it, release it, and go on to become stronger. Sometimes we seek quick relief by releasing it before we’ve gone through these stages. That’s because we fear the process. We’ve been taught that any show of emotion is a show of weakness, so we stuff it. But we only stuff it into our emotional garbage can, then spend all our time and energy sitting on the lid, trying to keep the contents from spilling out. ‘You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free’ (John 8:32 NKJV). It’s knowing and embracing the truth, including its painful aspects, that sets you free. You must be willing to forgive. But until you come to grips with the enormity of your loss, including any injustice of what was done to you, you are not ready to forgive. When you rush to forgive, you forgive only in part and you’re released only in part. Are you running from pain today? Are you trading it in prematurely for some other feeling? That’s not God’s way. Jesus said, ‘You will weep and mourn…but [eventually] your grief will turn to joy…and no one will take [it] away’ (John 16:20-22 NIV).
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